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Review: At the Mercy of the Sea

Apr 5, 2017 | Literature | 0 comments

At the Mercy of the Sea
At the Mercy of the Sea by John Kretschmer
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

50% compelling story of 3 sailors who were lost at sea in a hurricane. However I think the author, maybe in an effort to make the story interesting, maybe in an effort to assuage any perceived guilt he had for his friends death, at some points seems to be victim blaming – either that the sailors did something wrong or went against a superstition.

Now I am sure lots of mistakes were made but at the same time there is a point where nothing you do is going to get you out of a hurricane. “If only they had called the coast guard 2 hours earlier, if only they had sailed north, if only, if only”. Yes some was bad decisions but some was decisions based on widely accepted sailing tactics and what many sailors probably would have done in the situation. The hurricane (Hurricane Lenny) was a freak occurrence that was not only travelling the wrong way but also was late in the season and unexpected, even for the weather service. At some point, there was nothing these sailors could have done to survive.

The other part – the superstition – maybe it was just being an element of excitement or interest to the book but I highly doubt these guys died because they renamed their boat or because they left on a Friday. However when you say it it pulls me out of the story because I have to analyze it – are you mentioning a superstition? are you saying this added to their misfortune? I felt it was jarring.

The audio narration was so so. Sometimes the technical parts were read in a different volume like they were recorded in a different studio. Overall through the narrator was clear and easy to understand.

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Review: Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story

May 10, 2015 | Literature | 0 comments

Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story
Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story by Arnold Schwarzenegger

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I don’t think I have ever read a biography before but this was recommended to me as a don’t miss. That is absolutely true – this was one of the most enjoyable books I have read and would recommended it as a great introduction to this genre.

To answer your first question, Arnold does read the first and last chapters on the audio book and even has some life tips at the end. The majority of the book through is read by someone else with a slightly clearer accept (although I didn’t have any trouble understanding Arnold.)

I felt the book was inspirational and motivational as he documents his life as a rural farm boy to an American action star and governor. I felt the language was candid and unapologetic and the fact checking I did seems that he was mostly honest throughout the book.

The biggest complaint I have read is that he only devotes one chapter to his affair and eventual divorce and it is near the end. Listening to it though I feel the pain is still very real for him as is the hope that him and his wife will eventually reunite. Perhaps this is why he decided not to dwell on the subject too much.

Overall I was surprised this book was so entertaining and interesting and am really happy I took a chance on it.

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So I (tried) to read 50 Shades of Grey

Feb 15, 2015 | Literature | 1 comment

***There will be strong language and adult themes in the following post. Reader beware***

It is so bad. The worst thing I have ever read, and I’m pretty lenient on book ratings.  I just read a book about werebears and gave it 2 stars.  I would not even give 50 Shades of Grey 1 star. I read a lot of books and romance/erotica novels are one of my guilt pleasures. I have read more that I will admit but I do think it gives me a good perspective on this book.  This post is not me complaining about a genre of book I don’t enjoy.

It’s really bad. Really. I get the idea: Handsome rich guy takes you away for weekends of sexy time where you are pampered and given lavish gifts. You are so amazing that regardless of his 100s of past partners and player lifestyle he can’t think of anyone but you. The problem is 50 shades doesn’t even do this well. The characters are shallow, the writing is bad, and the dialogue is boring. There are alot of better choices.

I think this article sums it up best by saying “No new reader, however charitable, could open “Fifty Shades of Grey,” browse a few paragraphs, and reasonably conclude that the author was writing in her first language, or even her fourth. There are poignant moments when the plainest of physical actions is left dangling beyond the reach of her prose: “I slice another piece of venison, holding it against my mouth.”

Here are some notes I took while listening to the audio book:

  • “I try to turn on the audio recorder, but I am all fingers and thumbs” – yes, that is how hands are built….
  • ” I dropped the teabag into the hot water and almost immediately fish it out again with my spoon. I like my tea weak, I explain” – i think at this point its still hot water. There is probably more tea in the paper envelope that held the tea bag
  • Christian goes into the store where Anastasia works and literally buys a rape kit. All she can ask is “so you’re a do-it-yourselfer”?
  • Anastasia has the most stereotypical mexican friend ever. His name is Jose and he loves margarits and saying dios mio!
  • Anastasia wonders how Christian knows it was her who drunk-dialed his cell phone.  I’m gonna guess caller ID…
  • Anastasia has never drank before but knows exactly what she likes and what to order at the bar.
  • Claims ‘Necrophilia’ is sex with someone in a coma
  • Anastasia spends so much time flushing and blushing I’m surprised she hasn’t passed out from the blood loss.
  • Anastasia is a virgin who wants to give her experienced friend a safe sex lecture.
  • Christian takes Anastasia’s virginity so they can get on with contract negotiation.  why bother staying a virgin if you are gonna give it up so easy?
  • “He takes his socks off one at a time” – I guess instead of jumping and kicking his feet up behind him and pulling both off at the same time like a ninja
  • Comments like “Down there?” “Will it fit?” “How?” make me feel as if I am writing a book writted by a 15 year old.
  • Don’t change condoms after finishing the first time and going for a second.  Gross
  • Anastasia focuses a lot on food but is never hungry
  • Chapter 11 was literally reading the whole sex contract. It was literally a chapter reading the contract line by line. No addition thoughts, nothing.  Seriously
  • There is more, but I want to write other things in this post so I’ll stop here.

So when they finally get to the sex (chapter 8!) and Christian finds out Anastasia is a virgin he is going to handle that issue so they can get on discussing the sex contract.  This is how its described:

““I’m going to fuck you now, Miss Steele,” he murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of my sex. “Hard,” he whispers, and he slams into me.”

And this is all I can think of:

deer surprise

 

The prose is so bad they people have even developed online word generators that write 50 Shades of Grey types paragraphs.  Honestly, its proably better, there is less repetition of words than the actual book.  The lesson here is that even a computer can’t write a book as bad a this.  Don’t believe me? Here is a list of quotes from the book…

Actual quote from the book: “His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…or something.”

Now I’m getting infuriated.  I could rant all night on this.  Let’s change pace – you want to read a “romance novel” but don’t know where to start.  What advice can I give you?

First, don’t read this book. It’s like eating a junk food you don’t like – nothing good can come of it.

Second, My favorite intro romance book to recommend to newbies is “The Sinful Nights of a Nobleman“. Good story, good sexy time, entertaining characters. Plus the world building is big enough that you could read more in the series and not get too bored.

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Third, if you want to expand further into the Erotica/Romance novel genre, the best way is to find a theme you like (historical, paranormal, fantasy, vampires, etc) then going to amazon or goodreads and seeing what romance is highly rated. There are erotica/romance novels in most themes and alot are well written and with all levels of interaction from light romance to full on erotica.

Finally, I also saw this list recently but can’t vouch on the entries.  I can probably say they are all better than 50 Shades of Grey.  Happy reading!!