If you didn’t know, my parents have moved to Arkansas. No one is quite sure why, but they seem happy so we just tell our friends they “moved south” and are vague about the location rather than admit to having relatives in Arkansas. (Hi Aunt Cindy!)

This is their first year there so they sent us some Easter treats.  My sister, brother and I all got the same stash although mine was the only one covered in blood:

Typical Dad – getting hurt but powering on through the pain to get the job done! Also typical that he would see nothing wrong with sending me a package covered in blood.  And before you ask how I knew it was his – it was on the inside of the package.

My brother’s response was “You must be the favorite”

My sister said “It is covered in the blood of the father”

They both think they are funny.

Besides blood, the package contained some Easter treats! But not real Easter treats, more Easter lessons in confusion.

The first is a tiny egg shaped Jesus.  I don’t know if this is better or worse than cracking open an egg expecting candy.  Regardless, I cracked with glee and my tiny egg shaped Jesus turned into a tiny egg shaped penis.

This penis/Jesus, unlike real penises/Jesuses, was filled with a candy necklace rosary.

Also included in my care package was this gem:

This is a grey egg (which let’s be honest, has to be special order. You just don’t normally have a use for a grey easter egg) in a foam backdrop that says “He has risen”.  Now I knew it was supposed to be the cave tomb where Jesus was buried but I didn’t understand the scene.  My brother then reminded my of the rock that was in front of the tomb which we think the egg is supposed to signify.  Just like in the story, Jesus wasn’t inside when we opened it up. Instead it was a sharp plastic cross with a necklace hole. I assume you can use this one on the left over string from the candy rosary once you finish eating all your sins.

Finally, the centerpiece of the whole package was some room decoration stickers.

This product expects you to decorate your room with the scene of the empty tomb, guard asleep on the job, and an angle dropping trees on him.  Also, that yellow splotch in the upper right hand corner is supposed to be a “ray of light” which is included as well.

When I finish putting it up, I will let you guys know.