Mar 27, 2015 | Holidays, Philsophy |
If you didn’t know, my parents have moved to Arkansas. No one is quite sure why, but they seem happy so we just tell our friends they “moved south” and are vague about the location rather than admit to having relatives in Arkansas. (Hi Aunt Cindy!)
This is their first year there so they sent us some Easter treats. My sister, brother and I all got the same stash although mine was the only one covered in blood:
Typical Dad – getting hurt but powering on through the pain to get the job done! Also typical that he would see nothing wrong with sending me a package covered in blood. And before you ask how I knew it was his – it was on the inside of the package.
My brother’s response was “You must be the favorite”
My sister said “It is covered in the blood of the father”
They both think they are funny.
Besides blood, the package contained some Easter treats! But not real Easter treats, more Easter lessons in confusion.
The first is a tiny egg shaped Jesus. I don’t know if this is better or worse than cracking open an egg expecting candy. Regardless, I cracked with glee and my tiny egg shaped Jesus turned into a tiny egg shaped penis.
This penis/Jesus, unlike real penises/Jesuses, was filled with a candy necklace rosary.
Also included in my care package was this gem:
This is a grey egg (which let’s be honest, has to be special order. You just don’t normally have a use for a grey easter egg) in a foam backdrop that says “He has risen”. Now I knew it was supposed to be the cave tomb where Jesus was buried but I didn’t understand the scene. My brother then reminded my of the rock that was in front of the tomb which we think the egg is supposed to signify. Just like in the story, Jesus wasn’t inside when we opened it up. Instead it was a sharp plastic cross with a necklace hole. I assume you can use this one on the left over string from the candy rosary once you finish eating all your sins.
Finally, the centerpiece of the whole package was some room decoration stickers.
This product expects you to decorate your room with the scene of the empty tomb, guard asleep on the job, and an angle dropping trees on him. Also, that yellow splotch in the upper right hand corner is supposed to be a “ray of light” which is included as well.
When I finish putting it up, I will let you guys know.
Mar 19, 2015 | Bright Ideas, Food |
I got this a while back as a gift from Brianna and it’s probably the most awesome specialty kitchen tool I own. It’s called a “herb stripper” and its $7.99 on Amazon
You take the herb you want to strip, which normally you would have to do by hand in a slow, painstaking manner and put the stem into a hole, then pull the step out the other side. The leaves fall into the little bowl and you are left with an empty stem – viola’!
It works great. I have used it on cilantro, rosemary, thyme, and parsley. I assume it works just as great with other herbs. I highly recommend it!
Mar 12, 2015 | Fashion |
By the title you thought this was going to be a post of kitties in clothes, didn’t you? Well I hate to disappoint but this post is about my new clothes!
I got new pants:
And I got new shoes:
And I am totally not a crazy cat lady so you can put that thought out of your head right now!!
But seriously, here is a picture of Luna in a pretty dress:
Mar 4, 2015 | kittens |
Luna is a smart cat, but in a way different from my other cats. She has so many habits and mannerisms that I have never experienced before in a cat. I’m not saying she is special – who am I kidding, of course I am! 🙂
For example, Luna is what we call a “Chomper”. She really likes to use her teeth, regardless of what she is doing. Playing, fighting, eating, snuggling – it always involves teeth.
All this box chomping was done by Luna. Brutus really likes it because after she rips off a piece of cardboard and spits it out, he chases it around the house.
Another example is her obsession with fur and feather toys. She has these little rabbit fur pieces she loves to carry around and of course she love Da’Bird. However with 2 kittens the feathers wear out pretty fast (and start to stink but that is another story) so I throw them out.
Luna find them in the garbage, pulls them out, then carries them around with a self satisfied look on her face. Once she has them, she chomps on the base part and crunches the feathers until its a slimy mushy mess. Then she leave it for me to step on.
But I think her most clever thing to date is the “heat vortex” (patent pending!). Its obviously cold and kitties like to be as warm as possible. So Luna positioned herself over a vent, but under one of our drapes. You can see in the picture she is actually between the front and back fabric of the drape so she is surrounded, forcing the heat up, over and around her.
Happiest kitty ever!
Feb 20, 2015 | General Chit-Chat |
Am I ready to join the big leagues?
Feb 15, 2015 | Literature |
***There will be strong language and adult themes in the following post. Reader beware***
It is so bad. The worst thing I have ever read, and I’m pretty lenient on book ratings. I just read a book about werebears and gave it 2 stars. I would not even give 50 Shades of Grey 1 star. I read a lot of books and romance/erotica novels are one of my guilt pleasures. I have read more that I will admit but I do think it gives me a good perspective on this book. This post is not me complaining about a genre of book I don’t enjoy.
It’s really bad. Really. I get the idea: Handsome rich guy takes you away for weekends of sexy time where you are pampered and given lavish gifts. You are so amazing that regardless of his 100s of past partners and player lifestyle he can’t think of anyone but you. The problem is 50 shades doesn’t even do this well. The characters are shallow, the writing is bad, and the dialogue is boring. There are alot of better choices.
I think this article sums it up best by saying “No new reader, however charitable, could open “Fifty Shades of Grey,” browse a few paragraphs, and reasonably conclude that the author was writing in her first language, or even her fourth. There are poignant moments when the plainest of physical actions is left dangling beyond the reach of her prose: “I slice another piece of venison, holding it against my mouth.”
Here are some notes I took while listening to the audio book:
- “I try to turn on the audio recorder, but I am all fingers and thumbs” – yes, that is how hands are built….
- ” I dropped the teabag into the hot water and almost immediately fish it out again with my spoon. I like my tea weak, I explain” – i think at this point its still hot water. There is probably more tea in the paper envelope that held the tea bag
- Christian goes into the store where Anastasia works and literally buys a rape kit. All she can ask is “so you’re a do-it-yourselfer”?
- Anastasia has the most stereotypical mexican friend ever. His name is Jose and he loves margarits and saying dios mio!
- Anastasia wonders how Christian knows it was her who drunk-dialed his cell phone. I’m gonna guess caller ID…
- Anastasia has never drank before but knows exactly what she likes and what to order at the bar.
- Claims ‘Necrophilia’ is sex with someone in a coma
- Anastasia spends so much time flushing and blushing I’m surprised she hasn’t passed out from the blood loss.
- Anastasia is a virgin who wants to give her experienced friend a safe sex lecture.
- Christian takes Anastasia’s virginity so they can get on with contract negotiation. why bother staying a virgin if you are gonna give it up so easy?
- “He takes his socks off one at a time” – I guess instead of jumping and kicking his feet up behind him and pulling both off at the same time like a ninja
- Comments like “Down there?” “Will it fit?” “How?” make me feel as if I am writing a book writted by a 15 year old.
- Don’t change condoms after finishing the first time and going for a second. Gross
- Anastasia focuses a lot on food but is never hungry
- Chapter 11 was literally reading the whole sex contract. It was literally a chapter reading the contract line by line. No addition thoughts, nothing. Seriously
- There is more, but I want to write other things in this post so I’ll stop here.
So when they finally get to the sex (chapter 8!) and Christian finds out Anastasia is a virgin he is going to handle that issue so they can get on discussing the sex contract. This is how its described:
““I’m going to fuck you now, Miss Steele,” he murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of my sex. “Hard,” he whispers, and he slams into me.”
And this is all I can think of:
The prose is so bad they people have even developed online word generators that write 50 Shades of Grey types paragraphs. Honestly, its proably better, there is less repetition of words than the actual book. The lesson here is that even a computer can’t write a book as bad a this. Don’t believe me? Here is a list of quotes from the book…
Actual quote from the book: “His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…or something.”
Now I’m getting infuriated. I could rant all night on this. Let’s change pace – you want to read a “romance novel” but don’t know where to start. What advice can I give you?
First, don’t read this book. It’s like eating a junk food you don’t like – nothing good can come of it.
Second, My favorite intro romance book to recommend to newbies is “The Sinful Nights of a Nobleman“. Good story, good sexy time, entertaining characters. Plus the world building is big enough that you could read more in the series and not get too bored.
Third, if you want to expand further into the Erotica/Romance novel genre, the best way is to find a theme you like (historical, paranormal, fantasy, vampires, etc) then going to amazon or goodreads and seeing what romance is highly rated. There are erotica/romance novels in most themes and alot are well written and with all levels of interaction from light romance to full on erotica.
Finally, I also saw this list recently but can’t vouch on the entries. I can probably say they are all better than 50 Shades of Grey. Happy reading!!
Feb 11, 2015 | Food |
We found the “exotic meat” section at Marianos and I couldn’t pass by without purchasing something. We skipped on the Bison and Ostrich because those are barely exotic anymore. I’ve had Alligator before so passed on that. But then, there, down at the bottom…
Camel Meat!!!!
We haven’t tried it yet but we found a pretty good recipe for camel meatballs so we are probably going to do that. And before you comment, I don’t actually know if its hump meat, but its fun to say it is.
Here is a gif to explain the different types of camel…so you know what you are eating of course!
Feb 6, 2015 | General Chit-Chat, kittens |
I keep a glass for water in the bathroom and I usually keep it filled because the cats like to drink from it. Normally I empty and refill it before I use it but sometimes I lazy or just need a small sip so I drink after the cats.
The Other finds this disgusting. I told him it gives me power, and if he truly wanted to be part of the family he would drink from it too. Drink from the cup of life and become one of us! one of us! one of us!
Feb 2, 2015 | kittens |
So the Burmeses was changed to Burmeseys to Meseys and now they are just “The Measels”. Their antics are something of legend and every day I am amazed at what they get into together.
I can’t believe I have at least 18 more years of this!!!!
Both kept going on the counter so they got put in their “shame outfits”. I found them upstairs, sharing this heated mat, and pouting.
Here they are both passed out after running around the house like crazy chasing this catnip “joint” (canvas stuffed with catnip to look like a joint). And to think they were so close to victory!
And of course this post wouldn’t be complete without a picture of The Measels in front of a fire.
You might be thinking “these pictures are so cute, they are so well behaved” Well feast your eyes on this:
Yes Brutus is trying to chew the keys off the keyboard. Then gets frustrated and attacks Luna when he can’t. /sigh
Jan 29, 2015 | Current Events, kittens |
Brutus comes down into the basement with me while I ship orders. He is the only cat allowed down there because although he explores he pretty much stays close to me, follows me around, and comes when called.
Which is why last week when I called for him and he didn’t appear it was a bit worrying. Now logically I knew he was probably just hiding but our basement is pretty open and I can see a lot. I started to get a little frantic. I would call and call and not hear any movement or crys or anything!
After getting more worried and realizing I would have to call in The Other (who would tease me about my kitty-craziness) I heard a faint cry.
Brutus?
(softly) meow.
Brutus?!
(softer) meow.
Brutus!!
(barely audible) meow.
At this point he sounds like he is in the wall and although I know logically its impossible, part of me is trying to figure out how a cat got into a solid concrete wall! I’m looking all over trying to see where he is, and just as I was heading upstairs to call down The Other I see Brutus’ eyes.
I look up just as he looks at me, I have pinpointed his location! (you can barely see him here but he is the dark mass on the top box, if I didn’t see his eyes I wouldn’t have found him)
I move the box out to get him down and he heads back into the racks. Now I can’t reach him.
I eventually climb up the racks, grab ahold, and pull him out. He’s purring as if this as been the most wonderful and fun day of his life.
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