Mar 27, 2015 | Holidays, Philsophy |
If you didn’t know, my parents have moved to Arkansas. No one is quite sure why, but they seem happy so we just tell our friends they “moved south” and are vague about the location rather than admit to having relatives in Arkansas. (Hi Aunt Cindy!)
This is their first year there so they sent us some Easter treats. My sister, brother and I all got the same stash although mine was the only one covered in blood:
Typical Dad – getting hurt but powering on through the pain to get the job done! Also typical that he would see nothing wrong with sending me a package covered in blood. And before you ask how I knew it was his – it was on the inside of the package.
My brother’s response was “You must be the favorite”
My sister said “It is covered in the blood of the father”
They both think they are funny.
Besides blood, the package contained some Easter treats! But not real Easter treats, more Easter lessons in confusion.
The first is a tiny egg shaped Jesus. I don’t know if this is better or worse than cracking open an egg expecting candy. Regardless, I cracked with glee and my tiny egg shaped Jesus turned into a tiny egg shaped penis.
This penis/Jesus, unlike real penises/Jesuses, was filled with a candy necklace rosary.
Also included in my care package was this gem:
This is a grey egg (which let’s be honest, has to be special order. You just don’t normally have a use for a grey easter egg) in a foam backdrop that says “He has risen”. Now I knew it was supposed to be the cave tomb where Jesus was buried but I didn’t understand the scene. My brother then reminded my of the rock that was in front of the tomb which we think the egg is supposed to signify. Just like in the story, Jesus wasn’t inside when we opened it up. Instead it was a sharp plastic cross with a necklace hole. I assume you can use this one on the left over string from the candy rosary once you finish eating all your sins.
Finally, the centerpiece of the whole package was some room decoration stickers.
This product expects you to decorate your room with the scene of the empty tomb, guard asleep on the job, and an angle dropping trees on him. Also, that yellow splotch in the upper right hand corner is supposed to be a “ray of light” which is included as well.
When I finish putting it up, I will let you guys know.
Mar 19, 2015 | Bright Ideas, Food |
I got this a while back as a gift from Brianna and it’s probably the most awesome specialty kitchen tool I own. It’s called a “herb stripper” and its $7.99 on Amazon
You take the herb you want to strip, which normally you would have to do by hand in a slow, painstaking manner and put the stem into a hole, then pull the step out the other side. The leaves fall into the little bowl and you are left with an empty stem – viola’!
It works great. I have used it on cilantro, rosemary, thyme, and parsley. I assume it works just as great with other herbs. I highly recommend it!
Mar 12, 2015 | Fashion |
By the title you thought this was going to be a post of kitties in clothes, didn’t you? Well I hate to disappoint but this post is about my new clothes!
I got new pants:
And I got new shoes:
And I am totally not a crazy cat lady so you can put that thought out of your head right now!!
But seriously, here is a picture of Luna in a pretty dress:
Mar 4, 2015 | kittens |
Luna is a smart cat, but in a way different from my other cats. She has so many habits and mannerisms that I have never experienced before in a cat. I’m not saying she is special – who am I kidding, of course I am! 🙂
For example, Luna is what we call a “Chomper”. She really likes to use her teeth, regardless of what she is doing. Playing, fighting, eating, snuggling – it always involves teeth.
All this box chomping was done by Luna. Brutus really likes it because after she rips off a piece of cardboard and spits it out, he chases it around the house.
Another example is her obsession with fur and feather toys. She has these little rabbit fur pieces she loves to carry around and of course she love Da’Bird. However with 2 kittens the feathers wear out pretty fast (and start to stink but that is another story) so I throw them out.
Luna find them in the garbage, pulls them out, then carries them around with a self satisfied look on her face. Once she has them, she chomps on the base part and crunches the feathers until its a slimy mushy mess. Then she leave it for me to step on.
But I think her most clever thing to date is the “heat vortex” (patent pending!). Its obviously cold and kitties like to be as warm as possible. So Luna positioned herself over a vent, but under one of our drapes. You can see in the picture she is actually between the front and back fabric of the drape so she is surrounded, forcing the heat up, over and around her.
Happiest kitty ever!
Feb 20, 2015 | General Chit-Chat |
Am I ready to join the big leagues?
Feb 15, 2015 | Literature |
***There will be strong language and adult themes in the following post. Reader beware***
It is so bad. The worst thing I have ever read, and I’m pretty lenient on book ratings. I just read a book about werebears and gave it 2 stars. I would not even give 50 Shades of Grey 1 star. I read a lot of books and romance/erotica novels are one of my guilt pleasures. I have read more that I will admit but I do think it gives me a good perspective on this book. This post is not me complaining about a genre of book I don’t enjoy.
It’s really bad. Really. I get the idea: Handsome rich guy takes you away for weekends of sexy time where you are pampered and given lavish gifts. You are so amazing that regardless of his 100s of past partners and player lifestyle he can’t think of anyone but you. The problem is 50 shades doesn’t even do this well. The characters are shallow, the writing is bad, and the dialogue is boring. There are alot of better choices.
I think this article sums it up best by saying “No new reader, however charitable, could open “Fifty Shades of Grey,” browse a few paragraphs, and reasonably conclude that the author was writing in her first language, or even her fourth. There are poignant moments when the plainest of physical actions is left dangling beyond the reach of her prose: “I slice another piece of venison, holding it against my mouth.”
Here are some notes I took while listening to the audio book:
- “I try to turn on the audio recorder, but I am all fingers and thumbs” – yes, that is how hands are built….
- ” I dropped the teabag into the hot water and almost immediately fish it out again with my spoon. I like my tea weak, I explain” – i think at this point its still hot water. There is probably more tea in the paper envelope that held the tea bag
- Christian goes into the store where Anastasia works and literally buys a rape kit. All she can ask is “so you’re a do-it-yourselfer”?
- Anastasia has the most stereotypical mexican friend ever. His name is Jose and he loves margarits and saying dios mio!
- Anastasia wonders how Christian knows it was her who drunk-dialed his cell phone. I’m gonna guess caller ID…
- Anastasia has never drank before but knows exactly what she likes and what to order at the bar.
- Claims ‘Necrophilia’ is sex with someone in a coma
- Anastasia spends so much time flushing and blushing I’m surprised she hasn’t passed out from the blood loss.
- Anastasia is a virgin who wants to give her experienced friend a safe sex lecture.
- Christian takes Anastasia’s virginity so they can get on with contract negotiation. why bother staying a virgin if you are gonna give it up so easy?
- “He takes his socks off one at a time” – I guess instead of jumping and kicking his feet up behind him and pulling both off at the same time like a ninja
- Comments like “Down there?” “Will it fit?” “How?” make me feel as if I am writing a book writted by a 15 year old.
- Don’t change condoms after finishing the first time and going for a second. Gross
- Anastasia focuses a lot on food but is never hungry
- Chapter 11 was literally reading the whole sex contract. It was literally a chapter reading the contract line by line. No addition thoughts, nothing. Seriously
- There is more, but I want to write other things in this post so I’ll stop here.
So when they finally get to the sex (chapter 8!) and Christian finds out Anastasia is a virgin he is going to handle that issue so they can get on discussing the sex contract. This is how its described:
““I’m going to fuck you now, Miss Steele,” he murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of my sex. “Hard,” he whispers, and he slams into me.”
And this is all I can think of:
The prose is so bad they people have even developed online word generators that write 50 Shades of Grey types paragraphs. Honestly, its proably better, there is less repetition of words than the actual book. The lesson here is that even a computer can’t write a book as bad a this. Don’t believe me? Here is a list of quotes from the book…
Actual quote from the book: “His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…or something.”
Now I’m getting infuriated. I could rant all night on this. Let’s change pace – you want to read a “romance novel” but don’t know where to start. What advice can I give you?
First, don’t read this book. It’s like eating a junk food you don’t like – nothing good can come of it.
Second, My favorite intro romance book to recommend to newbies is “The Sinful Nights of a Nobleman“. Good story, good sexy time, entertaining characters. Plus the world building is big enough that you could read more in the series and not get too bored.
Third, if you want to expand further into the Erotica/Romance novel genre, the best way is to find a theme you like (historical, paranormal, fantasy, vampires, etc) then going to amazon or goodreads and seeing what romance is highly rated. There are erotica/romance novels in most themes and alot are well written and with all levels of interaction from light romance to full on erotica.
Finally, I also saw this list recently but can’t vouch on the entries. I can probably say they are all better than 50 Shades of Grey. Happy reading!!
Feb 11, 2015 | Food |
We found the “exotic meat” section at Marianos and I couldn’t pass by without purchasing something. We skipped on the Bison and Ostrich because those are barely exotic anymore. I’ve had Alligator before so passed on that. But then, there, down at the bottom…
Camel Meat!!!!
We haven’t tried it yet but we found a pretty good recipe for camel meatballs so we are probably going to do that. And before you comment, I don’t actually know if its hump meat, but its fun to say it is.
Here is a gif to explain the different types of camel…so you know what you are eating of course!
Feb 6, 2015 | General Chit-Chat, kittens |
I keep a glass for water in the bathroom and I usually keep it filled because the cats like to drink from it. Normally I empty and refill it before I use it but sometimes I lazy or just need a small sip so I drink after the cats.
The Other finds this disgusting. I told him it gives me power, and if he truly wanted to be part of the family he would drink from it too. Drink from the cup of life and become one of us! one of us! one of us!
Feb 2, 2015 | kittens |
So the Burmeses was changed to Burmeseys to Meseys and now they are just “The Measels”. Their antics are something of legend and every day I am amazed at what they get into together.
I can’t believe I have at least 18 more years of this!!!!
Both kept going on the counter so they got put in their “shame outfits”. I found them upstairs, sharing this heated mat, and pouting.
Here they are both passed out after running around the house like crazy chasing this catnip “joint” (canvas stuffed with catnip to look like a joint). And to think they were so close to victory!
And of course this post wouldn’t be complete without a picture of The Measels in front of a fire.
You might be thinking “these pictures are so cute, they are so well behaved” Well feast your eyes on this:
Yes Brutus is trying to chew the keys off the keyboard. Then gets frustrated and attacks Luna when he can’t. /sigh
Jan 29, 2015 | Current Events, kittens |
Brutus comes down into the basement with me while I ship orders. He is the only cat allowed down there because although he explores he pretty much stays close to me, follows me around, and comes when called.
Which is why last week when I called for him and he didn’t appear it was a bit worrying. Now logically I knew he was probably just hiding but our basement is pretty open and I can see a lot. I started to get a little frantic. I would call and call and not hear any movement or crys or anything!
After getting more worried and realizing I would have to call in The Other (who would tease me about my kitty-craziness) I heard a faint cry.
Brutus?
(softly) meow.
Brutus?!
(softer) meow.
Brutus!!
(barely audible) meow.
At this point he sounds like he is in the wall and although I know logically its impossible, part of me is trying to figure out how a cat got into a solid concrete wall! I’m looking all over trying to see where he is, and just as I was heading upstairs to call down The Other I see Brutus’ eyes.
I look up just as he looks at me, I have pinpointed his location! (you can barely see him here but he is the dark mass on the top box, if I didn’t see his eyes I wouldn’t have found him)
I move the box out to get him down and he heads back into the racks. Now I can’t reach him.
I eventually climb up the racks, grab ahold, and pull him out. He’s purring as if this as been the most wonderful and fun day of his life.
Jan 25, 2015 | Bright Ideas, kittens |
Luna loves Brutus – she follows him around, tries to nuzzle him, always wants to know what he is doing. She loves him.
Brutus loves Luna, but more in a best friend “lets play chase but don’t eat my treats” kinda way. They play, yes, but he sometimes bullies her or chases her away from what he considers “his”. He is always around her but most of the time when she tries to snuggle him he activates “THE CLAMP” which is Brutus just grabbing hold of her neck and chomping down. (really hard! His jaw strength is amazing!)
But the other day, Luna made progress in her pursuit of Brutus’ affection! They both come in the bathroom with me when I shower (as I’m sure your cats do) and Brutus sits in the chair and usually falls asleep. Luna sits on the rug. After my shower I dried off and sat on the floor next to Brutus’ chair and started to pet him. Luna became very interested and starting pacing around the chair so I picked her up and put her on the chair. She sat as far away from Brutus as possible, almost leaning against me. He opened his eyes to look at her but I kept petting him and eventually he went back to sleep.
After some time, Luna crept closer. Eventually she put her paws over his paws. Again he opened his eyes but I kept petting and he went back to sleep. Luna sat like that for a while, looking very pleased with herself.
After a few minutes, Luna began to inch closer again. She started to sniff him and even licked his paws abit. I was taking pictures at this time but every time Brutus would wake up she would go still and wait for him to close his eye again then would continue inching closer.
Then she got close enough that their tails touched!
Closer still…
And finally, she flopped on him! Snuggling as close as she could (basically on top of him) she just pretended to sleep as he woke up and looked at this kitty now laying on him
It’s usually at this point that Brutus will bite or chase Luna away, but this time he started to clean her!!! She remained perfectly still the whole time and eventually (after looking at me to see why I was being a weirdo taping their snuggle session) Brutus went back to sleep! They were finally cuddling!
But then Luna’s ear started to inch and although she didn’t want to (it started with a twitch) she had to shake her head. It was at that point Brutus woke up, deployed THE CLAMP and I had to rescue a screaming Luna from the chair.
She didn’t go far though and I told her it was good work for one day. Little by little she will teach Brutus to cuddle and then he will love her as much as she loves him.
Jan 23, 2015 | kittens, Tech |
I’ve never had a cat who like watching TV as much as Luna does.
It’s so bad that if I am using my tablet she will come up on the couch and paw at it until I turn on some kitty tv for her!
Jan 10, 2015 | Bright Ideas, Tech |
So I was watching a compilation of BattleBots on YouTube tonight and realized that the “wedge” is pretty much unbeatable. It’s almost not fun to watch – there should be a wedge only league or no wedge allowed or something. At one point it just turned into a fight of wedges….
The second most powerful the spinner – usually a spinning blade but sometimes the whole body spins. The problem with these is that once your spinning part stops, and usually it does, you got nothing.
So if I was gonna battle bot I would make my entire robot a magnet, then all I have to do is run into the other robot until it sticks to me, then bash it against the wall or into the area hazards. Problem solved. ALL HAIL MAGENTA (no relation to Magneto, a copywrite of Marvel comics) Years of Loony Toons has taught me this is a viable plan
That or I would just get the Honda Asimo robot to pick it up and smash it. That’s a good plan too.
Or better yet, one of those scary ass Boston Dynamics/DARPA big dog robots. Nobody is gonna fuck with that thing. Look at it! Imagine you are taking a hike though the forest and these things are around the next bend in the trail. I would wet myself, I’m about wetting myself now just thinking about it…
On a side note, while searching for images I learned that during the height of the Battlebot craze in 2002, McDonalds included Battlebots in happy meals. There were a total of 7 licensed robots, plus 1 fictional robot McDonald’s created themselves. I hope those Battlebot organizer’s invested their money wisely.
Jan 6, 2015 | Bright Ideas |
My car needs a name! I don’t mean just a cutesy name that only I use – I mean a name like a warship or a galactic destroyer has!! Since you all are some of the most creative people I know, let me know your suggestions – can’t make any promises but if you come up with the name I use you will be forever immortalized on my social media pages 🙂
Right now I am leaning towards “Skynet” although, “Fluffy Marshmallow” got a few votes as well…
Dec 31, 2014 | Bright Ideas, Current Events, Tech |
Dec 31, 2014 | kittens |
The Burmeseys have been a bit rambunctious since we returned from Arkansas. They have been on the counter, fighting, teaming up on the other cats (!) and just general destruction.
My Aunt recently posted this image to Facebook, and although most people think of cats as quiet creatures the Burmesey are not. So when they are quite, you know something is up
also if you have a Burmese kitten…
Case in point, we heard Brutus quietly playing with something near the computers and the first thought was “That’s nice that he is playing with a toy instead of harassing the other cats” Then our next thought was to get up and see what he was playing with since he was too interested in it for it to be something wholesome.
We were right – here you can see our USB memory stick that Brutus CHEWED apart.
You can clearly see on this chart that Brutus has the highest bite force of any creature alive, dead or imagined.
The next incident was due to Luna, who is even worse than Brutus in counter-surfing. We heard a noise in the kitchen during a commercial break and turned around to find our water on and running. I think this one solved itself though since Luna is notorious for eating scraps from the sink but I bet she’ll think twice after being soaked.
I’m slightly pleased by this one because it occured shortly after we had to throw out a stick of butter after finding Luna munching on it after we made some popcorn.
Dec 30, 2014 | Literature |
Unbearable by W.H. Vega
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
You know what? Honestly one of the better romance novels I have read. I would give it 2.5 stars if the system allowed. Fast paced, well written (for the genre) and interesting.
One of the things that bothered me the most, and resulted in a lower rating, was the “forced consensual sex”. When your character is thinking things like “my mind is screaming no and I try to push him away but my body is screaming yes and won’t let me” it gets a little weird. I totally understand the romance genre dynamic of having two characters at odds eventually fall in love but usually by the point of physical contact the characters have softened their attitudes a bit. In this novel the main characters were completely at odds (regardless of the numerous sex scenes) until probably the last 5 pages – it was very jarring.
The sex would also happen at very inappropriate times – in one situation these main character had just been attacked and is very upset/shaken and as the “love interest” walks her to the car after she files a report and he suddenly grabs her and kisses her. She is bleeding and bruised. This is I think right after the first time they met so it’s literally a random stranger authority figure. Kinda uncomfortable.
Somehow the author makes it work and regardless of the awkwardness I would probably read more in this series. The characters were interesting enough to have me wondering how their stories progressed and the world building – although not spectacular – is enough to want me to learn more.
View all my reviews
Dec 30, 2014 | Literature |
The Executioness by Tobias S. Buckell
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Excellent book, fast read. Fantasy setting (magic) but focuses on the casualties of war – those that are captured, those that are killed, and those that are left behind. The book focuses mostly on the last of these – a woman whose husband was killed, children captured , and town destroyed and the choices she makes to reclaim her family and her life. Depressing subject matter told in a matter-of-fact way that made the book serious but uplifting in a way.
View all my reviews
Dec 22, 2014 | kittens |
So far Pothole is not having a good Christmas! Peapod was supposed to deliver her favorite wet food – Fancy Feast Appetizers Steamed Tilapia in Broth.
It’s super stinky but being a old kitty it entices her to eat – so much so that she even begs for it.
So when 5 Chi-Chi’s Salsa Medium arrived instead of Pothole’s dinner, she was a bit disappointed to say the least.
I offered to let her eat it, but she said salsa doesn’t compare to delicious fish.
Dec 20, 2014 | Bright Ideas, Hobbies |
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